Like every other day when Wole visited, Lade had been excited to see him, but a few minutes into his visit today she knew something was wrong, he looked preoccupied. She couldn’t believe her ears when he told her he wouldn’t be visiting her anymore, and he gave his reason in a Yoruba adage – it is starting to look like ‘mo’n da omi siwaju, kin le tele tutu’. Wole believed his constant presence and affection towards Lade in the past couple of months since the accident may be perceived as him taking advantage of her vulnerability to create a spot for himself in her heart. If only he knew how much Lade loved him and how sad she felt to hear those words. Yet she understood.
By 2015 when they began their master’s degree at the university of Lagos Wole had still not proposed nor made any concrete statement in that regard. What they had wasn’t just friendship anymore, they were emotionally invested. This worried her, but she wasn’t going to get ahead of herself and raise it with him. Little did she know that her worries were about to mount up substantially.
“I told my mum about you. She said an outright NO”
On one fateful day, Lade was growing tired of trying to make Wole talk, all day he had worn a forlorn look and said barely anything to her, and she felt apprehensive. Eventually he spilled it “I told my mum about you and that I plan to marry you. She said an outright NO”. Lade comported herself in front of him and merely told him not to worry but pray. Inside of her though was a turmoil, her heart was screaming – “God what is this?” The last thing she wanted to experience with regards to marriage were in-laws who did not love her, she couldn’t imagine being where she wasn’t appreciated and loved. “But how? How could she refuse me without even knowing me? God what is this?” These thoughts played on in her mind after she left Wole. “I am reliable, if I send you into it, I will make a way” this she heard God say to her over and over in different ways. She held on to the scripture – Psalms 46:10 and she felt peace.
“Surrender your anxiety. Be still and realize that I am God.” Psalms 46:10 TPT
In 2017, Wole got a job in Lagos and that was when he initiated the proposal process according to the doctrine of the church. After Lade observed the protocol expected of her, the next step was parental consent on both sides. Wole visited Lade’s parents, all went well, and consent was given. Wole’s mum however refused to grant Lade an invite, she vehemently insisted there wouldn’t be a wedding between them, this halted the proposal process. Wole got transferred from his office in Lagos to Niger state and each time he spoke with his mum, she reminded him – “Wole wo, ko soro’nbe. Don’t waste that girl’s time, I won’t agree to you marrying her”.
“Wole wo, ko soro’nbe. Don’t waste that girl’s time, I won’t agree to you marrying her”
His relationship with his entire family was getting very strained, as no one took a different stance from his mum. He loved Lade so much, but he was tired of the struggle, and not knowing how long it might take to convince his mum otherwise, he started to feel worried about stringing Lade along. On November 17th 2017, he called Lade and ended the relationship. From this time on their interaction decreased to occasional ‘Hellos’ and ‘His’.
“…it was better being alone than standing by a man who just wouldn’t take his stand for her.”
Lade toughened up and drew nearer to God, in fact she was so blessed that at this time she was surrounded with flat mates who were single Christian ladies just like her. They’d pray, encourage, talk, and tease each other, and move on beautifully with their lives. Not that her heart didn’t break afresh every time she thought of her severed relationship with Wole, but she decided it was better being alone than standing by a man who just wouldn’t take his stand for her.