Since I got married a few friends have reached out to me to give them insight on suitable locations for a honeymoon. I am not quite sure if it’s because I recently got married, or because they assume I had an amazing honeymoon – After all I shared lovely pictures. If the latter were the case, they wouldn’t be far from the truth.
I am a strong believer in the honeymoon concept, oh yes, that short period of 3 days, one week or more where newlyweds leave everyone and everything behind, visit someplace different and spend time bonding and discovering each other anew is not overrated nor is it about to be.
life hits newlyweds with its demands the moment they dance out of that reception hall
I have been married for 6 months, and to be honest life hits newlyweds with its demands the moment they dance out of that reception hall. In fact, for some folks, it starts to hit during the ceremony. Wait up, this isn’t as bad as it seems, look at it this way, you were doing life considerably well before the joy of getting married showed up, after the wedding frenzy, you’ll have a partner to continue doing life with – on the scores chart, that is You = 2, life = 1.
Ordinarily you and your spouse are (or should be) better positioned to achieve more and surmount daily huddles than when you were single. So, you see, this statement “life hits newlyweds with its demands the moment they dance out of that reception hall” is not a worrisome one.
Honeymoon is your own priority, it is not the priority of your family, friends & wedding vendors
In subsequent posts I will be sharing a whole lot about my wedding planning phase, and you will agree even more that planning a wedding, particularly in Nigeria, is no easy feat. You’ll need a pause, a break right after it is all done, to relax and breathe – stress free. You may be thinking – “see FK, owo lo fin do something o!” I totally agree.
You cannot make a honeymoon happen without money, so my golden counsel is – prioritize your honeymoon! Your parents want you to spend money on this, your in-laws want you to spend extra money on that, sure if you can afford it go for it, but if not, only spend after you have set aside a budget for your honeymoon. Honeymoon is your own priority, it is not the priority of your family, friends & wedding vendors.
What you get from a honeymoon that you don’t get from taking a break in your own apartment includes, but is not limited to;
i) Alone Time: when no one knows where you are, or cannot easily reach where you are, unwanted disturbance and interference is avoided. People have good intentions, they’ll come knocking at your door to greet the new wife, if you are Yoruba in particular – won ma fi kiki pa yin – lol! But when you are not accessible, you’ll have some peace and quiet.
ii) Room Service: Even if all you can afford is a cheap hotel for 3 days, you deserve to be taken care of. Someone to make the bed, bring cooked meals, do laundry, and change the toiletries – please you and your partner should give yourself this treat so you can focus on just being with each other.
It may feel like fantasy at the time, but this short period gives you your first memories as a couple and they are real
iii) Romantic Atmosphere: if like me, you and your partner are getting to know yourselves sexually for the first time, being somewhere cozy and vacation-like positions you mentally and emotionally to enjoy and flow better into this.
iv) A positive tone for your new life: It may feel like fantasy at the time, but this short period gives you your first memories as a couple and they are real. The pictures, the moments with nothing on your mind but your spouse, the meals, the walks, the drives, the site seeing, the adventure, it all just gives you a healthy place to start from.
I’ve got a few more posts coming on this and if there are specific areas you’ll like to read about, do post in the comment section, or feel free to contact me directly. You can also share your thoughts, I’ll love to read them.