So, I had my baby by vaginal birth (I am pretty sure you thought this was about me, no.). It was what I desired and trusted God for, both I and SA, but if it had come down to having a C-section, I wouldn’t have hesitated.
I wanted the pride of “oh, I suffered to born you.”
I knew about epidural, but seeing as it tended to increase the duration of labor, I was willing to go without it, so as not to stress my baby too much. Ok let me not lie, maybe in my sub-sub-sub-conscious mind, I wanted the pride of “oh, I suffered to born you.” Looking back now kai, all I tell myself is – “Folake ehn, you too like suffer-head”. I endured labor till I was about 7cm dilated (I honestly hope you are one of those who understand what that feels like for an induced mum), and then I DEMANDED an epidural (something I should have started with jeje), in fact, I was almost past that phase where they could apply it, seeing as my contractions seemed to be seconds apart and I could barely sit still from one contraction to the next. That one hour of sleep after it was administered, remains the best sleep I remember having in my last 28 years. I woke up from it, and Aridunnu was born within the hour.
So, if you put me side by side with a woman who did not use an epidural to birth her baby, what reason do I have to feel ashamed? Why would either of us not see ourselves as champions? The same applies to the mother who had to birth her baby via CS – she is a champion. The procedure has its own risks, and recovery isn’t nearly as quick as a vaginal birth, why go through that much sacrifice to be a mum and feel disappointed in yourself?
…the ‘Hebrew woman’ pressure is serious pressure.
Dear C-section mummy, stop explaining yourself out, stop feeling you need to let them know why it was necessary – because you worry that if you don’t, they’d think you’re weak, faithless, or less of a mum? You are not. The one that gave birth vaginally was helped of God, and the one that had a CS was equally helped of God, Kii se nipa ti agbara (delivering a child is not by strength)!
My parents (all four) were huge support from the moment we announced our conception till she was born. But even they were still a source of pressure. The way they spoke of CS, prayed openly against it, and in fact scolded my doctor about it, I felt I would have been a disappointment to them if I had ended up having my baby by CS. After Aridunnu was born, one of my parents said – I am so proud of you! While this made me feel good, I still wondered if they’d have said these exact words should I have had a C-section.
They were just being loving, but pressure is pressure, and the ‘Hebrew woman’ pressure is serious pressure. No jokes there.
So instead of saying “CS is a bad thing o, it will not be your portion, you’ll deliver like the Hebrew woman in Jesus name my dear child”, you could say “Your delivery will be complication-free in Jesus name. You have a covenant of life in Christ, and a command for fruitfulness, so shall it be for you. God who caused you to conceive, will also cause/help you deliver”.
The C-Section is an alternative that can help a woman having complications to still give birth to her baby safely. It is not an unfortunate incident that happens to weak and faithless women, no! This write-up stemmed from the provocation of seeing yet another woman attempt to explain why she had a CS in a bid to validate her experience to her audience. You my dear reader can help stop it, by having a paradigm shift, and a language change.
Now for us Christians and bible scholars, you do know that the Hebrew women were birthing their babies in their houses without the help of midwives? If there was a similitude of hospitals or maternity clinics back then, we can rightly assume that the Egyptian soldiers had closed them down. But now you’d rarely consider giving birth at home, right? You go for antenatal classes, hold monthly and then weekly sessions with your O&G, and pack for the hospital when it is time – quite unlike the ‘Hebrew woman’.