A couple of weeks after I had Aridunnu, I saw an article about, and for, parents who feel that their newborn does not look cute, on BabyCenter. BabyCenter is a multifunctional app for women, couples, and parents; it can help you track your fertility, coach you through pregnancy, prepare you for delivery, and walk you through raising a healthy and happy baby. There are a number of such apps actually, but this is the one I used and still use. Apps like this are much better than running to Google each minute you feel something; these days if you googled ‘stomach ache’, you just might come off thinking you have cancer.
Google ki la gbe, ki lo ju? (Google it’s not that deep!)
Quick example here, around 6 weeks after I got pregnant, I bled. My heart goes out to any reader who has lost a baby – at any stage (miscarriage, born sleeping etc.), pulling through that is the true definition of ‘strong’. At barely 2 months gone, I wept like a baby, I refused to speak to SA all evening, as though he had a hand in it – lol. Because if you see what google had to say ehn? Anyways, on BabyCenter, and after meeting a O&G the next day, I realized it could have been either the implantation still, or just cervical changes – in the simplest terms. That said, lets focus on today’s focus.
Do folks really worry about how their baby looks? I am not referring to babies with a medical condition or any deformity. Just concerns about whether a baby is cute enough, big or small eyed, chubby enough, hairy enough, etc. No jokes there o, because the article I referred to up there, took its time appealing to new parents to let go of their expectations or fantasies, and accept their baby’s features for what they are.
Why do we like to pressure and punish ourselves unnecessarily? Like almost everything else, is there also an innate tendency to compare babies? I am sure you’re wondering ‘Ibo latun jasi yi ooo, FK’, hmmm.
It was TFash, my sister, that got me thinking. She asked me to share a photo of Aridunnu with her on a certain day, and she specified that I was to dress her up for the pictures because she intended to post them. I blinked twice, and then a third time, as I processed and reprocessed the request. I queried her about why Aridunnu had to be specially dressed for posts, and she teased me about how I had ‘shamelessly’ posted her as she messily ate Mangoes – she claimed that was weird, in fact, that I am weird. Looool! The laughter was both ways, I am sure we thought each other ridiculous.
…and daaaz right! This is TFash. Rolls eyes.
Am I normal? Or is there actually a code of conduct for this thing, “only share what’s gorgeous and picture perfect”? No way! Hell to the N and to the O! A baby sucking on mangoes is messy, I am not going to dress that up to look fancy, nor refrain from sharing – it was beautiful to me! My little girl was diligently feeding herself on my best fruit, after Agbalumo. You can call me weirdo, I like.
Look, the bed isn’t laid all the time, I get tired I don’t do dishes immediately anymore, sometimes she eats without a bib because we just cant find any of the many, she sticks her hands in the butter at that very moment when I take one glance away, well yeah – if I want to take and share a picture in all of that, I will, I freaking will.
Dear you, I encourage you to feel free to keep it real too. So here is ‘cheers’ to many more messy photos, and weird photos, alongside the picture perfect ones.
Till your next visit here – stay blooming!!!