I am a good girl!

A plate of partly eaten lunch and a water bottle were on her table. I was working just adjacent to her table. I didn’t see her crawl beneath it, but I heard the thump of her backpack against it as she tried to crawl out. If she’d hit the table slightly harder, she would have upturned the food and loosely covered bottles. Then, I would have spent another 5 to 10 minutes cleaning up and replacing her lunch.

I gave her the side eyes and warned, “o fe je gba.” If we focus on what it means rather than what it says, it is a Yoruba phrase that loosely translates to ‘be careful.’

Preempting my remark, she had a ready answer – “No. I’m a good girl; I do good fings”.

I replied – “Yes you are. But if you had toppled the table and poured your food everywhere, would that have been good?”

She answered – “No… Sorry, mummy”.

I replied – “Be more careful,” and we moved on.

Even if she had spilled her lunch, I would still have reinforced her statement – “I am a good girl; I do good things.” Because she is precisely that, perhaps I would have instructed her that ‘I am sorry’ should come first.

I am a good girl

Going by that ‘almost’ accident, it would seem correct to say that she is clumsy, careless, or too playful. But she said, concerning herself, “I am a good girl; I do good things.” I’ll blow it up a little – “What has happened, or what is happening, is not necessarily the truth about me; what I believe about myself is the truth. While I acknowledge what I have done and am sorry about it – as I must be, I do not accept it as my definition. No, I am a good girl; I do good things.”

Some people continue down the wrong path because they believe they are already too far gone. Let’s say you made a mistake—you fell into fornication and lost your virginity. You might think, “Well, I’ve already messed up; who can tell one time from ten? What’s the point in celibacy anymore?” This thinking only leads to more harm. A single mistake does not define who you are and should not dictate your future. You are still a person of value, capable of making good choices. Instead of letting guilt drag you down, acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and seek accountability—from God first and those who can support you in your journey. Repent, learn from it, and move forward with renewed strength.

The best stories tell of the power of mercy, change, and growth springing forth from the direst circumstances. The best stories inspire hope.

You are capable of making good choices

I am not a football fan, though I have players I like, like one 40-year-old Portuguese champ. But if you asked any football fan, they’d tell you that even the best players, their supposed ‘goats,’ have bad days.

Bad days, with such bad plays, you’d wonder if they were under a haze. (Winks)

This reminds us that even the best of us have bad days. Perhaps football isn’t the best example, as accolades can be fleeting in that sport. But at least you know that one match does not make a player incompetent.

Even on your worst days, when you’re soaking in the consequences of your mistakes, se ara giri, gain courage, and remind yourself that though that has happened, you don’t have to become it. You are better than that, and you can make better choices. You can do good things.  

Go on, and do good things!